The Harry Potter Novels According to Everyone Else

EDITOR'S NOTE: I don't claim to own any names or ideas on this Tumblr. I'm simply finding lists and linking back to their original sources. All characters and themes are property of JK Rowling. Each list is credited to their original author.

The Harry Potter Novels According to Narcissa Malfoy

je-t-appartiens:

1. Narcissa Malfoy and He’s Not Going To Durmstrang

 

2.Narcissa Malfoy and What Happened to Our House Elf, Lucius

3.Narcissa Malfoy and and The Injury of her Poor Baby

4. Narcissa Malfoy and the Time She Had Something Foul Smelling Under Her Nose

5. Narcissa Malfoy and the Time Her Sister Broke Out of Azkaban and Came to Live in Her House

6. Narcissa Malfoy and He’s Just a Boy

7. Narcissa Malfoy and That Time She Saved the World

(credit to MusicalGypsy)

(Source: dehriquehockeyson, via sheenchange)

…According to Dobby Take Two

 

  • (1) Dobby the House Elf and the Year Off From That Brat
  • (2) Dobby the House Elf and the Year I Learned That I’m Not That Good at Protecting People
  • (3) Dobby the House Elf and a Year of Unemployment
  • (4) Dobby the House Elf and a Year of Taking Care of the Drunk
  • (5) Dobby the House Elf and the Year of One Thousand Hats
  • (6) Dobby the House Elf and Being Forced to Hang Out With Kreacher
  • (7) Dobby the House Elf’s Guide to Being a Hero

—johnnycade of Ravenclaw House

(Source: reddit.com)

…According to Minerva McGonagall

  • Minerva McGonagall and The Fantastic New Seeker
  • Minerva McGonagall and The Unwanted Promotion
  • Minerva McGonagall and Why Am I Giving Something Even The Ministry Limits To A 3rd Year?
  • Minerva McGonagall and The Dance Lessons
  • Minerva McGonagall and Putting Up With That Cow Umbridge
  • Minerva McGonagall and The Relatively Quiet Year
  • Minerva McGonagall and The Quip About Snape Fleeing

—-SamHealer, of Tumblr House

(Source: tumble.shealr.co.cc)

…According to Dobby

 

  • Dobby and the Time the Malfoys gave me shit
  • Dobby and the Time Dobby Became a Free Elf
  • Dobby and the Time Dobby Searched for a Job
  • Dobby and the Time Dobby Stole Some Gillyweed for Harry Potter
  • Dobby and the Time Dobby Had to Clean Up Gryffindor Every Night
  • Dobby and the Time Dobby Fought with Kreacher
  • Dobby and the Time Dobby Only Meant to Maim or Seriously Injure

—Pup420 of Gryffindor House

(Source: reddit.com)

…According to Harry Potter (?)

  • Harry Potter and HOLY FUCK I’M A WIZARD.
  • Harry Potter and I Think I Won’t Get a Normal Year at Hogwarts
  • Harry Potter and My Godfather is Back and Wants to… No, Wait, Doesn’t Want to Kill Me
  • Harry Potter and I Didn’t Ask For This
  • Harry Potter and The Year that Nobody Understood Me and Sirius Died
  • Harry Potter and I Know Malfoy’s Up to Something
  • Harry Potter and the Time I was Jesus

—Pup420 of Gryffindor

(Source: reddit.com)

…According to Draco Malfoy

 

  • Draco Malfoy and That Time My Father Heard About This.
  • Draco Malfoy and That Time My Father Heard About This.
  • Draco Malfoy and That Time My Father Heard About This.
  • Draco Malfoy and That Time My Father Heard About This.
  • Draco Malfoy and That Time My Father Heard About This.
  • Draco Malfoy and That Time My Father Would Have Heard About This But Was In Prison.
  • Draco Malfoy and That Time My Father Heard About This.

— Der_Izzer of Ravenclaw House, with a minor change by Pup420 of Gryffindor.

(Source: reddit.com)

…According to Peter Pettigrew

  • Peter Pettigrew and Not Turning Yellow
  • Peter Pettigrew and Don’t Touch Me With That Broken Wand.
  • Peter Pettigrew and The Year I Slept In Ron’s Bed.
  • Peter Pettigrew and How To Cut Off Your Own Hand.
  • Peter Pettigrew and The Year of Not Doing Much.
  • Peter Pettigrew and Being Snape’s Bitch.
  • Peter Pettigrew and I Swear It’s Not Autoerotic Asphyxiation. 

…According to Nicholas Flamel

 

  • Nicolas Flamel and the Year that Dumbledore Jacked my Stone
  • Nicolas Flamel and the Year my Wife and I got Our Affairs in Order
  • Nicolas Flamel and the Time my Wife and I Died
  • Nicolas Flamel and the Time I was Dead
  • Nicolas Flamel and the Time I was Dead
  • Nicolas Flamel and the Time I was Dead
  • Nicolas Flamel and the Time I was Dead, and No One Remembered (Except Bathilda, but she died too)

— CaaronnE of Ravenclaw House

(Source: reddit.com)

…According to Molly Weasley

 

  • Molly Weasley and the Lucky Day Ron Sat in Harry’s Compartment on the Hogwarts Express
  • Molly Weasley and the Ford Anglia
  • Molly Weasley and the Trip to Motherfucking Egypt
  • Molly Weasley and That One Quidditch World Cup, Holy Crap
  • Molly Weasley and the Year My Kids Started Ignoring Me
  • Molly Weasley and the Year of the Veela
  • Molly Weasley and the NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!

—Kasari of Hufflepuff House

(Source: reddit.com)